Tales of being offensive

Went into a specialty shop to buy the wife an Xmas gift. Now, this shop specializes in one product. But it is by no means a mom and pop...there are billions of them. Well, probably not billions, but I can think of 4 locations within a 15 minute drive from where I am sitting right now...and it's a national chain.

So anyway, I do my shopping and pick out something in my price range that I think she'd like. I take it up to the counter, absently nodding at the lady there shopping who expresses positive noises at me for purchasing something for my wife (or for some unnamed woman, as the product is obviously not suited for me, even if I were to use it for a cross-gender purpose.) (Side Note A: I obviously don't want the wife to figure out what it is.) (Side Note B: Is it really THAT big a deal for a dude to purchase something for a chick? I go to the store FAR more often than my wife does, for a number of reasons. So I'll buy shampoo or tampons or whatever, if she needs `em. But women, usually older ladies, act like I am the second coming of Christ. I don't get it.) Anyway, I had this exchange with the sales clerk:

Me: (Placing object on sales counter) Umm...

Her: Did you find everything--- (interrupted by me)

Me: MMM...ummmm...ummm.....(trying to remember what I'm trying to say. I hate getting older and forgetting how to say what I mean)...oh! Gift Receipt.

Her: We don't have them.

Me: (double take.) What? Really?

Her: Yeah, we don't do them, at all.

Me: Seriously? That's odd. Well, can you print an extra copy of the receipt to put with the gift?

Her: No. I would have no way of doing that.

Me: (obviously incredulous) REALLY? Wow...Seriously?

Her: *shakes head*

Me: Wow...that's pretty pathetic.

Her: (taken aback) ...

Me: I mean, EVERYONE does gift receipts now.

Her: (offended) Well, we're just a (type) store...

Me: Yeah, but...seriously...

Her: (offended so short to the point of rude) Slide card. Sign Paper. Receipt in bag? Thanks.

And, out I go. Now, I didn't apologize and I wasn't going to...why? Well, because I don't think I crossed the line. I wasn't commenting on her personally but on a clearly stupid policy. And I would have said that her correct response would be to apologize for failing to meet my (reasonable) expectations as a customer, instead of being loyal to an extremely stupid policy.

But, I really don't think she had a cause to be offended at what I said and I know that I will not return to that store to buy a gift ever again. I'll go by stuff for me, but, well, who doesn't do gift receipts. That's crap.

umm...more pet peeves...

Got some more pet peeves...

8. Combatting addiction through education. STOP trying to explain to people who are addicts why they should not be addicts. It DOES NOT WORK. In fact, it serves no useful purpose whatsoever. If you have to flap your gums, go explain the harmful effects of noted addiction to people who AREN'T addicted but are exposed to the scenario in question. This is particularly prevalent with addictions that are traditionally considered to NOT have a physical cause, like people addicted to food, work or sex. But the most annoying is cigarettes. Guess what? Smokers KNOW it is harmful and they want to do it anyway. Get over it.

9. Pretending we are enlightened. You are prejudiced. Stop pretending you aren't. You have preconceived notions about every group or characterization out there...whether it is black people, catholics, engineers, people who go to weight watchers, strippers, people from austria, people with red hair or women. Some of these groups annoy, scare, disgust and/or arouse you. Some of them smell funny. You know, in your head, this is true. You don't have to tell me, I'm not asking you to admit it publicly. I'm asking you to admit it to yourself and move on. It does NOT make you a good person to not think these things...that would make being a good person impossible because YOU DO THINK THEM. It makes you a good person to recognize this about yourself and keep these thoughts from influencing your decisions, actions and behavior. It makes you a good person to treat everyone you meet fairly and with respect, no matter what notion is bouncing around in your head. But, pretending you don't think it is just dumb. "I don't see race/color. That doesn't matter to me." Yes, you do and yes, it does. Stop being an idiot.

10. 'Reboots' or remakes. Look, there are a lot of good stories in the colorful history of entertainment. We all have a favorite book, movie, tv show or song that fills us with warmth when we think of how much we enjoyed it the first time we saw/heard it and how much we still enjoy it today. But, what makes them great is two things...our personal experiences in the context of relating to it and the uniqueness of it in the context of our viewing it. When you try to remake or 'reboot' it, you are stepping on that. You are trying to tap into that positive experience to create something else that should fit along those same lines. This is destined to fail because it insults the original experience. So, please, creative types involved in these endeavors, please just stop.

Look, I know it's hard to come up with something new that is going to be the 'next big thing.' I know there is a lot of pressure to create financial success. And I know that the public is fickle making failure likely and success difficult to predict. I get that. So, I'm not asking you to go up on a mountain and meditate for years until a truly original idea comes to you. That's not fair or realistic. What I'm asking you to do is to take inspiration from the great things of the past and use it to create something that, at least, seems new. Then, tout it for what it is, not what it's influences were. Trust me, it'll work a lot better. We'll all go to your movie and watch it and think it is awesome because the things it drew from were awesome. And someone will make the joke, "hey, I liked it better the first time, when it was called, 'Blossom'!" and we'll all laugh and move on. And it'll be better for everyone.

You wanna make a movie about a bunch of cops who all look kinda young so they get sent undercover into high schools. Great. Should be fun. But, just don't call it '21 Jump Street'. Cuz, then...it sucks.

ok...enough bitchin' for now...

Freedom...

I did my Veteran's Day post on Tuesday. And, despite humorous reports to the contrary, I did actually mean every word. It was not sarcastic or tongue in cheek...I was serious. Now, I wanna have a little talk about the freedom that the veterans have bought us...

Freedom doesn't have limits. By it's very nature, it is limitless. True freedom is known as anarchy and, while anarchy really doesn't work from a practical standpoint, the idea of being truly free has a certain charm. But, we are people, who must live together in a society, and, in a single context, anarchy and freedom seem to go hand in hand, when ultimately implemented, anarchy ends up being one man's freedom to infringe upon another man's freedom. So, we can't have that.

So, we will place limits on our freedom. These limits, IMHO, should center around the idea that your freedom cannot do harm to another person, thus infringing their freedom. Do what you want, as long as you are not hurting nobody else. Seems simple enough and completely fair. But then what does it mean to hurt someone else? How clearly defined does this harm have to be?

Let's look at some examples of personal freedoms that I feel have been infringed at the expense of harm. Some I agree with, others I don't:

Murder. If I kill someone, that is pretty ultimate harm. So that freedom has been taken away upon pain of harsh punishments up to and, in some cases, including my own death.

Rape/Battery. I can't attack someone physically and cause harm to their body. Another pretty clear one...after the results, the victim is undoubtedly injured, so we can't have that.

Sex with Children/Child Molestation. Initiating sexual contact with a minor who has not developed into an adult member of society is damaging on a lot of levels. Children do not have the experience and education of adults and cannot comprehend all of the complex levels of sexual activity and the emotional and physical consequences that go along with that. So, the potential for harm is so great that we can't allow it.

These are gimmes. There's a reason they are all crimes...the harm to the other involved person is pretty undeniable. What about situations that are a little more grey.

Abortion. Is there harm? Some say there is a child, some say it is only the potential for a child. Who's freedom is paramount, the mother or the fetus/child? We currently allow abortion because we don't, as a society, have universal agreement over the definition of 'child' and when life begins. But this is a very controversial freedom because we do not agree on whether or not harm is being done.

Guns. Our Constitution seems to guarantee the right to personally own guns. But, while the vast majority of individuals who choose to own guns, do so responsibility without any harm-related incidents, there are some exceptions in which guns are used to do harm. Again, the potential for harm seems to fuel an argument against restricting the freedom but the argument fails because the gun itself is not harm.

Smoking. The use of tobacco products was legal for a long time because the harm was not clear or, later, limited to the user. However, it became a common belief that tobacco use had the potential to harm others, so the freedom was restricted. The focus seems to be reasonably aimed at preventing the harm to others but, recently, the unpopularity of tobacco use has led to crossing that line. The question becomes...what about hurting one's self? Where does the limit of the infringement of freedoms in the name of preventing harm lie? As smoking restrictions become more and more complex, this question will need to be addressed.

Speech. We can say what we want, right? This is a biggie, not only because this is a long revered freedom in our country that is most often clearly omitted in other societies, but because it is one that we exercise with regularity. Further, we've long established that, as adults, we exist in a world where words cannot constitute harm. Sure, words can be hurtful but that doesn't really hurt us, so we are willing to leave this pretty much unrestricted.

Why do I bring all this up? Well, recently, I've seen a backlash against freedoms. People that are quick to cry foul because the exercise of freedom is repugnant. And they demand restrictions on the freedom in the name of preventing clearly undesirable results. For example,

There's a guy, Rev. Fred Phelps, who has come to believe that God punishes our society's tolerance for homosexuality by causing deaths in military contexts. Seriously. And, as such, he tries to address this issue by protesting at the funerals of gay men and military veterans killed in the line of duty. Say what you want about this... (Personally, I'll say it is lame, fucked up, class-less and completely disrespectful. I wouldn't lose any sleep if someone choose to beat this man's ass, as long as that someone is arrested and charged with assault and battery and pays his or her debt to society)...This is FREE SPEECH. This is freedom.

There's a company, Amazon.com, who we have all come to appreciate and admire. They sell a book called the 'Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct'. This book is, technically, legal. Of course, the conduct it advocates is not but the book itself does not guarantee or even cause the conduct. Again, say what you want about this...It's FREE SPEECH. But, this didn't stop everyone on my twitter feed, from that guy I met a party one time to rapper/actor Ice-T, to lose their minds about this...Yes, it is deplorable and disgusting...but where does it end? As of now, I can't find the book on amazon's site. I guess they bowed to pressure and took it down. My relief that some mentally ill pedophile might use this book as a courage catalyst to act on his broken emotional feelings and harm a child is not outweighed by my disgust that we so quickly lose sight of the exercise of freedom on Veteran's Day. But my disgust is still there.

Freedom is important and must be respected. There are ways to deal with idiots without restricting everyone's freedom. When a woman named Rebecca Rooney realized that the death of a local soldier, Sgt First Class CJ Sadell, in Afghanistan would draw the attention of Rev. Phelps, she didn't take to twitter or the Supreme Court to advocate and establish a restriction of Freedom. She took her freedom out and exercised it better. She organized town residents to show up early and take all the parking spots at the funeral. When Rev. Phelps' group showed up, there was no place to park. And, as anyone who has gone to the mall at Christmas will tell you, no parking is a bitch. I mean, it's important to spread your mistaken and despicable misinterpretation of the Lord's word, but not if you have to walk like a half mile up the road to do it. So, they went home.

Like almost everyone I've seen today, on this veteran's day, I too am proud to be an American and thankful for our veterans' work to protect that way of life. But, when I think of Rebecca Rooney and the fact that Sgt. Sadell's two sons didn't have to endure any idiots at their dad's funeral, WITHOUT anyone stomping all over freedom to do it, I'm even MORE proud.

Veteran's Day

Thursday is Veteran's Day. And as I see the platitudes and shared facebook statuses begin, I want to add my two cents to the apparently insincere masses.

I love freedom. I like being able to do what I want when I want how I want. America has a lot of problems. But they all pale in the light of the freedom we have. This is why America is and always will be the greatest country on Earth, no matter how hard we work to fuck it up and how many problems we manage to create. Because, at its fundamental roots, it's about freedom.

Now, whenever you have something nice, there is going to be someone who is jealous and wants to take it away from you. This is human nature. It doesn't matter if it is an order of fries, a Cadillac Escalade or a government of self-determination and opportunity...someone is waiting to take it from you. As such, we have to be prepared to defend our nice thing. That's where the military comes in.

The armed forces are there in defense of our way of life. Because of this, they are to be respected. And Veterans, which are current and past members of the military, are also to be respected. At all times.

It matters not that they may not be altruistic (they get paid.) It matters not that some of them had, due to various circumstances, little in the way of other opportunities. It matters not that some can and have chosen to use them offensively, as a sword, rather than a shield. It matters not that we spend lots and lots and LOTS of money on them. Those are all fair points worthy of discussion and examination. But they do not compromise the respect.

It doesn't matter than fighting really never solves anything. It doesn't matter that our maintenance of such a significant force may have exacerbated the very problems they are meant to solve or lessen. It doesn't even matter if you believe that your God has told you that military deaths are caused by the existence of homosexuals. None of this, indeed, nothing at all, compromises that respect.

The men and women of the armed forces have taken the brave step of devoting a portion of their days on this earth towards the defense of our freedom. They have put up their very lives as possible payment for this freedom. You enjoy the freedom. Even if you hate it, you enjoy it. If you didn't enjoy it, you would have already left. So, you have NO CHOICE but to respect them for it. Disagree, dislike and even argue against, but DO SO WITH RESPECT. If, for no other reason, then because I said so.



You can ignore Veteran's Day. You can roll your eyes at the dumb statuses that friends on Facebook will ask you to 'post for one hour.' You can delete the chain emails that tell you to send this to 10 people if you appreciate Veterans. You can even tell yourself that I am an idiot as you read this. (wouldn't be the first time.) You can do all these things because you are free to do so. And you are free to do so because many many souls have been sacrificed in the name of that freedom. So, when you do this things, do them respectfully and in remembrance of that.

Wine Tasting 2010

Every year, we do a wine tasting at one of the finger lakes. This year's is on Saturday and I still have 3-4 empty seats on the bus. This is bad. Very very bad :(

So, to entire all of you who aren't currently coming, I thought I'd post some links to past pics of the event. If the sheer amount of awesome apparent in this pics isn't enough to convince you, I don't know what more I can do! (I'm not sure if you'll be able to see them...damn facebook security settings...but it's worth a shot.)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031721&id=1069165192

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031720&id=1069165192

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031717&id=1069165192

http://www.myspace.com/genwar/photos/albums/album/1309397

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2038216&id=1156400870

See? So...you should like come along or something. Email me for info...

-gen

Pet Peeves, a running list...

I need to list my pet peeves. So Imma start a running list here...may as well, no one is reading this anyway :)

1. Don't send me an email asking me to answer a previous email. I got your email. There was no error. It wasn't lost in the 'net. I haven't answered your email because I haven't answered your email. Sending me another one will not help the situation in any way.

2. Don't ask me what book I am reading, in that moment. I do not, under any circumstances, want to discuss the book currently in my hand. If I am reading in your presence, it is highly likely that I don't want to talk to you at all. If I did, I would put the book down. It is ok to ask me about books generally and what I have read recently, but not while I am currently reading.

3. Don't ask for (or take without asking) food or drink I am currently consuming. Do not taste my beer, have a couple of fries or enjoy a small bite. Don't touch my stuff at all. If I offer, then it's ok but if I haven't brought it up, I DO NOT want to share. (Yes, even if you are my wife. In fact, MOST ESPECIALLY if you are my wife.)

4. For the love of God, do not pass me on the right.

5. If I appear to be choking, do not ask me "Are you all right?" or "You ok?" This is an idiotic waste of breath. If I can breath, given that I am in a coughing fit, the last thing I want to do is have a conversation. If I cannot breath, the time you spend in chit chat and waiting for a response should be spent attempting to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Either way, there is no need for discussion.

6. Do not be imprecise with money. If you give me $25 and ask me to buy you something and it costs $23.76, do not tell me 'not to worry' about the change. I WILL worry about it...I can't help it. Take the damn $1.24. If the situation is reversed, do not give me a dirty look if I ask for my damn $1.24. If an item or service costs $379, don't tell me it is '400 bucks' or 'like 375ish'. How hard is it to say '$379'?

7. If I buy you a drink, drink it. Don't waste it. If I buy you a drink unsolicited and it is something you absolutely can't stand, pretend to drink it, wait until I am not looking and pour it out and then make sure I see the empty glass. If I buy you a drink, what I want out of it is your enjoyment of it, even if it is false. Also, it is not necessary to buy me a drink if I buy you one. Nor should you be upset if you buy me one and I don't buy you one in return. One thing you can be sure of...if you buy me a drink, I will damn well drink it.

To be continued...

The Rules of Hair

Finally, a random thought that takes more than 140 characters...

There seems to be a lot of confusion on this, so allow me to break it down for you, as simplistic and specific as possible.

If you are a woman, you have to have long hair. This means no drastic, chopping it all off, "I'm trying a new look" bullshit. Grow it out and leave it out. Of course, you can have to styled however you wish and the licensed stylist may remove up to 16.7% of the total length, at his/her discretion, in the name of creating and maintaining the style. However, this can only be done once every 3 months. If your particular style requires more frequent salon visits, all removals are limited to that percentage on a quarterly basis.

If you are man, you have to have short hair. This means get a fuckin' haircut. You are required to get your hair cut every three months. Again, you may maintain any style you wish as long as you get at least 42% cut off every three months and your total length never exceeds the total you could grow in a 3 month period.

There are three exceptions to this rule.

1. Lesbians - Any gay (NOT bi-sexual, transexual or transgendered) woman may get her hair cut as short as she wishes, as long as the overall effect of the cut/style does not render her indistinguishable from a man in a neck-up view.

2. Native American Men - Any registered and approved member of a authorized American (US) Tribe may grow his hair as long as he wishes and is not required to get any cuts, so long as his length and style remain clean and presentable.

3. African Woman - Any woman born in or 1st generation removed from Africa (meaning, one or more of her parents was born in Africa) may keep her hair as short as she wishes, as long as she has and keeps one of those cool faux-British accents. If she starts talking American, she has to start growing it out.

I'm glad we could clear this up. Please make note and follow these requirements in the future...

A quick thought for my 69th post

Often, I hear of ladies who are concerned about their man going to a strip club or seeing a stripper. For them, I offer this quick thought...

Average Dude. $500 to spend. Clean, neat, relatively good looking and relatively charming.

Chance of getting laid in Strip Club in this scenario. 2.4%. And that's if he know what he's doing, done some research and really plans and implements well.

Chance of getting laid in regular Night club. 17.8%

And, in each instance of success, the chick from the nightclub will be average to cute (6-7) whereas the stripper will be straight up skank (2-4).

The simple fact of the matter is that most quality, attractive strippers are really NOT looking to sleep with customers. Whereas finding a drunk girl in a nightclub when you are spreading around cash isn't nearly as difficult.

So, if you're REALLY worried about your man cheating, you should probably SEND him to a strip club.

#justsayin'

-gen

P.S. All numbers are based on my exhaustive research, personal calculations and the dozens of computer models and simulations I have run.

On Strip Clubs and athletes...

OK...seen a LOT of tweets and blogs wondering about the Strip Club, Athlete and incident thing. Recently, TN Titan Vince Young got into an altercation at a strip club which made the headlines and media. It seems, to many, that this is another in a long line of strip club related problems involving professional athletes going back to Adam "Pacman" Jones and even before. Since so many people are concerned and asking questions (What is it about strip clubs? If it is a hotbed for trouble, why do athletes go?) and since one of the few things I do know a little about is strip clubs, I thought I'd try and help.

First, the strip club itself. To truly answer this question, I'd need a whole other blog or maybe even a book (it's been suggested, numerous times.) But I'll try to sum it up for you. What is it about strip clubs that makes them so attractive. Well, it's a number of factors, most of which aren't really complicated or deep but they combine into the perfect storm. First and foremost, there's beer. Seriously. For most guys in most contexts, that alone is enough to justify visiting or patronizing an establishment. Next, in addition to beer, there's naked (well, topless) women. "So, you mean I can drink beer AND look at titties?" Now, don't you feel a bit silly for even wondering why a guy might want to go to one of these places. But, I'm not done.

See, in addition to beer and titties, a strip club is a place a wife doesn't want to go almost as badly as the husband does want to go. If one's wife is happy and excited to go to the strip club, she is not one of the folks asking why people want to go there. She gets it. But even places that have no beer or titties but that the wife would rather not go tend to be attractive to the average husband. Otherwise, explain golf. Further, with or without the wife, the strip club is a place where you get to toe the marriage bounderies without breaking them. There is this fantasy of the possiblity of being with a beautiful woman, who is not your wife, and, even better, there is absolutely no chance of it actually happening. Hell, they say like 20-25% of dudes will actually cheat on their wives, you think the rest of us aren't wired that way too...the strip club lets you address that part of you without being THAT guy who ruins the marriage, screws up the kids and generally ends up alone and unloved.

And then there's the reason that doesn't much get discussed...the attention. Everyone likes to feel attractive, important and admired. Some of us are lucky enough to get that in a lot of contexts. Most of us only get it in a few. Some poor folks don't get it at all. But, admittedly, we ALL like it. And, if you have the cash, you can BUY it at a strip club. Oh sure, it's not the same. It's basically a fantasy without real teeth. But still, it's better than nothing. Like fat free diet ice cream or veggie burgers. You know it isn't the real thing but it beats abstinence.

So, in sum, Why do guys go to strip clubs? Beer, Titties, No Wife, Hot Chicks (without cheating) who "think" that they (the guys) are hot. There are actually a number of other reasons but these 5 covers 85-90% of the motivation generation.

So, what about the athletes? Why do they get in trouble? let's address that. First of all, the simple fact is, they don't. What do I mean? What about all the stuff I see in the media and the stories and Ben Roethlesberger (who can spell that?) raping that chick in the strip club in Georgia. How can I say they don't get in trouble? Well, I am speaking in scale...you see, LOTS of athletes go to strip clubs all the time. Guys (and Gals) of all different levels of professional sports all over the country and the world frequent strip clubs every damn day. But, because of the puritanical prejudice against sexual expression, we, as a society, freak out over the .001% of athlete strip club visits that result in an 'incident'. Hell, Ben Rapelesberger (as the Mexican calls him) wasn't even in a strip club. And poor Mr. Young's negative exchange was completely irrelevant in the context of the strip club venue. I mean, he punched a dude in the mouth. There was no stripper involved. There was no bouncer involved. It was a simple bar fight that happened to be in a strip club.

But again, you want an analysis of why there is trouble that .001% of the time. Ok...first, Athletes are often young men who come from poor or middle class backgrounds who become REALLY FUCKING RICH. I mean, they get a LOT of money. What do you do with a $15m signing bonus. I mean, after you buy the 'Mtv Crib' and the 4 Bentleys and the bowling alley in your basement. You still have a ton of money. So you invite all your high school buddies over and you smoke some pot and bet on some private dog fights and maybe share a hooker or 3. And you STILL have a CRAPLOAD of money. Well, one thing a strip club is really really good for, it's burning money. If Montgomery Brewster had hit Scores, he could have burned that $30mil in the first 2 weeks and he would have had NOTHING to show for it.

The other factor that comes up is the mental and emotional warping that occurs when you are a professional athlete. Professional sports are a big part of our lives. They prove very important to us. I can tell you, personally, that I am such a serious SF Giants fan that, when they win, I feel GREAT and when they lose, I feel like crap. With that level of pressure on single fans, successful athletes tend to get admired, appreciated, stroked and worshipped to the point of demi-god status. The treatment they get tends to do strange and unpleasant things to the average ego and soon, they start to forget simple things like respect, manners and humility and start to believe that they are better than the average person.

So take this guy with the out of control ego, give him a pile of money and put him in a place were even the common schlub in a food stained t-shirt is made to feel sexy, attractive and important and, yes, sparks will fly. Things will get out of hand. Usually, most people have enough home training, common sense, and attentive friends to prevent any real issues...I mean, Tiger Woods apparently frequented numerous clubs and managed to ruin his life without a single fight or club context 'incident.' But every so often, it grows beyond the normal drunken misbehavior and gets out of hand. And that's what ends up in the press.

So, to sum up again, giant ego, ton of money, ego stroking context, lack of home training, shake (not stir) and you might get a little explosion. But chances are, you won't.

Solution? You want a solution? I bet the NFL does...I bet Roger Goddell is getting plenty sick of dealing with this. Here's a solution, then. Stay home. I'm just kidding...that's not realistic...Sure, some of the dudes are going to marry supermodels and be content to go back to their ridiculous house and bowl a couple of games in the basement with the kids. God Bless em. But the rest of them need training...They need to understand things like choosing and empowering a wingman and taking other dudes talking shit as jealous ramblings that really amount to complement. They need to learn how to recognize their limits when imbibing and how to safely ignore those limits. This stuff can be learned through trial and error but that will not keep any NFL PR Execs in their beds at night. OR, it can be taught.

In today's day and age, fame is far more curse than it is blessing. It is the price they pay to have a job that they love that pays obscene amounts of money. If they can learn to manage their fame or hire someone to do it for them and listen to that person, they don't have to suffer. And they don't have to 'avoid' strip clubs. 'Cause that ain't gonna happen...

(P.S. Dear Adam 'Pacman' Jones. Dude, AVOID STRIP CLUBS. You, sir, have a problem... Love, Gen.)

All I do is win

DJ Khaled – All I Do Is Win Lyrics

[T-Pain - Chorus]
All I Do is win win win no matter what
got money on mind i can never get enough
and everytime I step up in the building
everybody hands go up
and they stay there
and they say yeah
and they stay there
Up down, up down
cause all I do is win win win
and if you goin’ in put your hands in the air..

[Ludacris]
Ludacris goin in on the verse
cause I never been defeated and I won’t stop now
keep your hands up put em in the sky for the homies that didn’t make it and the folks locked down
I never went no where
they saying Luda’s back
blame it on that conjure
the hood call it Ludayac
and I’m on this foolish track so I spit my foolish flows
my hands go up and down like strippers booty’s go
my verses still be serving, tight like a million virgins
last time on a Khaled remix now I’m on the original version
aint never count me out
y’all better count me in
got 20 bank accounts, accountants count me in
make millions every year, the souths champion
cause all I do, all I, all I, all I
all I do is…

[Chorus]

[Rick Ross]
Swerving in my Lolo,
head on the swivel
you know serving me’s a no no
clean as a whistle as I pull out in my Rolls Royce
yellow bone passenger they see it, they say oh boy!
tell Khaled back it up, my n-ggas call me Loco
thats for armed trafficking, don’t make me pull that fo-fo
ask you what you laughing at
represent that mud life
dirty money b-tch you better get your mud right
we come together holding hands and holla thug life
we are strapped in all black
it’s like thug life
(all we do is win)
you riding the what
we riding the night
you riding with me cause you wasn’t riding right
ROSS…

[Chorus]

[Snoop Dogg]
heat in the Kitchen, pot on the stove
water getting boiled, dope getting sold
snoopy in the hoopty, system overload
I’ve been running this rap game since I was 20 years old
I hung with the worst of them
bust till I burst on em
floss em up, toss em up, hardaway, boss em up
pardon me I bossing the pressure up, bless ya bruh
don’t wanna mess with us
we like the U in the 80’s
back to back set a trap
hit the lick, hit it back
hit the trick, jump the track
b-tch I want my money back
time and time again while I’m sipping on this gin
Al Davis said it best, just win baby win

[Chorus]
[End]

Wow, oh wow, it's WoW!

OK…fair warning, this post is mostly about WoW. So, if you have no interest in WoW and lack a desperate need to understand what’s been going on in my head lately, then you probably want to just skip it. Seriously. *shrug* You were warned.

So, on Tuesday night, I quit my guild. If you follow me on twitter and/or facebook, you know that I have been agonizing about my guild for some time. The guild and I had been heading in different directions for some time. The GuildMaster left temporarily to handle some real life issues. Given the extended nature of his absence, someone needed to take over. The Wingman did so. In my opinion, he did the best job he could but he never felt any ownership…more like a manager in charge while the owner was unavailable. So he tried to guide the Guild in the direction that most of the membership wanted. Soon, his management team and core personnel consisted of some fairly strong willed individuals who wanted the guild to be something it wasn’t. And they proceeded to push it in that direction.

Now, I objected all along. But I was in the minority AND persona non grata because of my personal nature. I have never been a ‘serious’ player…I treated the game as a lark and a lot of the members came to dislike me because they saw my casual, carefree attitude as interfering with their serious efforts. (For example, if I rolled on and won a trophy, I might not use it. That’s just how I rolled. This frustrated them, as they would choose to use in immediately, had they won it. So they felt it was wasted.) As time passed, I was ostracized more and more, even though I could and did change those attitudes and behaviors to be more in line with what they would have wanted for a teammate. That is part of the source of the frustration…I mean, I genuinely tried to change for these people but they didn’t seem to notice or care…

On Tuesday, I logged on about 10 minutes after the official invite time, nothing unusual…a good 20 minutes before ‘first pull’ and found that the groups had been formed. Apparently, the invite and ‘first pull’ times had been moved up. With no notice…at least to me. It was in the calendar invite, which I was admonished for not reading more closely but I didn’t see any other notice. And basically, I was casually blocked from participation in favor of pugs. For me, that was the last straw. I became so angry that it became a physical force…I couldn’t stop shaking and my vision was literally tinged with red. I did the /gquit and acted quite rudely towards the officer I was conversing with. (I later apologized; I was unforgivably rude.) She tried to continue the conversation so I put her on ignore. (I later took it off as part of the aforementioned apology; like I said, unforgivably rude.) I couldn’t deal with it.

The hard part, really, besides the ‘fear of the unknown’ and not knowing where my next raid is coming from, is the feelings of anger I have towards the Wingman. I mean, he is probably my best friend in the world and I have just been really really pissed. I know it is in no way his fault…What kind of sense would it have made for him to try and force 20-30 people in a direction they didn’t want in favor of one, me? None. Intellectually, I don’t think he could have handled things any other way and I know he tried to keep it moderate enough for me to ‘hang in there’. Maybe if he had been on the game Tuesday night, things might have been different, I dunno. But he wasn’t and they weren’t. So, I have to try and find a way to get over these feelings…Cuz, despite how they FEEL, I KNOW they are not worth it…friends are few and far between and should not be compromised lightly. And we have brains to get past our emotions and do the right thing…I am dedicated to finding a way to do that.

So, anyway, I joined a ICC pug immediately, to try and salve myself. It was your typical poorly planned and average run pug…took 45 minutes to form up because people kept losing faith and quitting…I ran outside to summon replacements no less than 6 times. Once we started, we handled the 1st room trash with some skill but we lost 3/10 people…which is pretty bad on 1st room trash. Then, in the second room, we activated a 1st room trap and one of the hunters, who had been rezzed twice, failed to run in the second room, leaving us to deal with the unnecessary Ward. Finally, we wiped on the first boss…and, of course, people bailed. Honestly, I was glad to not be saved, though who knows if I’ll get a 10 man this week…

I bounced around for a while…dumped some gold in the AH to level some alt professions…did the weekly…did VOA 25, where I led the dps with 7495 on Toravon. I think that was my highest dps EVER and I was pretty excited. Of course, having no guild, I had no one to share it with :( which hurt and made me question my decision…I sent a tell to one of the few guild members on my friends list and she commiserated with me. She also told me the pugs in her group were fail and they were wiping a lot, which made me feel a bit better as well….nothing like the misery of those who wronged you to pick you up, right? The VOA ended as WG started but a bunch wanted to run 10 man…so I sat around and waited for WG to end, hoping that the Alliance pulled it out…What else did I have to do? The Alliance won and I got a decent 10 man done but what kind of loser waits the whole of WG for a 10-man pug? This kind, I guess.

The other thing I did was something I had been putting off…I took my new stockpile of Frost Badges and bought the last two of my 8 total Tier 10 pieces…completing my 4 piece bonus on my tank set. So I had to run around for Arcanums and Shoulder enchants and gems and stuff but I got it all put together. I put it all on and my tank set cleared 3000 on wow-heroes, which was nice. In the end, I stayed up way too late doing unnecessary stuff, running worthless and pointless heroics (healed Occ on the alt, which impressed the hell out of myself. Died on the last boss as I am quite fail at green dragon but whatever, right? They pulled it out without me.) Went to bed around 1:45a. Miserable over the whole mess.

Woke up Miserable over the whole mess. Went to work miserable over the whole mess. Spent the day miserable over the whole mess. So the wife picked me up and took me out to dinner. Now, we can’t afford to go out to dinner. And I told her that. But she said she’d find the money if I would stop being miserable over the whole mess. Normally, I would call that a bad deal, but there are not a lot of things on this earth that I wouldn’t give up for Chico’s wings and pointless misery doesn’t make the list. So I cheered up and we got barbeque. But I told her I wanted to be home early to get on by 7:45 to try and find a pug spot in a guild ICC run. Have to get back on the horse and guilds aren’t going to find you. She didn’t disagree but dinner took a while and we had to stop at Walmart for staples. Further, she became fed up with my rushing and took the opportunity to give me an earful of her opinion on the situation. (She thinks I should take some time off Wow. I know, crazy, right?) Still, she did buy dinner so I backed off the deadline and gave up on raiding…Got home, put the stuff away, worked on the pool, got the baby to bed and managed to log on around 8:30 or so.

Looked like the guild runs had failed. Day 2 is always tough when you have pugs involved. If just one person bails, the whole run is FUBAR. So again…their misery is my salve. But there weren’t any obvious runs being formed. Some bs ‘Anybody wanna do ICC10?’ on Trade but that’s it. So I ran my daily, CoS. Some of the randoms failed and we had to run the gauntlet like 3 times but we still got the mount for a dude and finished in 35 minutes or so.

Back in Dal, sitting around staring at trade and I see a request for ICC25 come through. It bounces too quick due to gold spammers, so I scroll up and read it. Guy is advertising for ICC 25. dbw reserved (I had to google that. :() min dps 8K. Remember, my best was 7495 so I couldn’t do 8K. So, no fit…Still, I do have a spiffy new tank set on. So I whispered him and asked if they needed a tank and how late they were running. He replied that they WERE looking for a bear tank, were ending by 11 (12m our time) and would I like to go? So I said yes. Got the invite and told the wife I would move downstairs to raid. She looked at the clock and told me I could go if I got her some ice cream. I told her to forget it as I didn’t want to delay the start. Still there were 12 open slots, so I went in the kitchen and got her the ice cream (she acted all surprised, like there was any doubt.), took a leak, and went downstairs.

Well, I sat there for like 40 minutes. At first, I don’t think they were really focused on filling….half of the 13 we had were from one guild and they were all offline on alts. I got the vent info and go on and no one was talking...finally the guy who invited me came on and started doing invites and switching people to alts. At about 10:30 we started pulling trash with 24 and one kitty on the way.

The trash went amazing. I mean, they treated it like par for the course but this was a 75% pug group and we downed the first through third pull without a death. I don’t think my health bar dropped the whole time and I had some real aggro going. On the 4th pull…the stairs to room 2, someone pulled the main middle group midway through…Groups I’m in, that’s an autowipe…grab your ankles and lube up. But I was gonna do my best so I grabbed a couple of the ice dudes and pointed them away from the raid and then I started taunting some stragglers who were harassing the casters. And what do you know…we survived…with like 2 deaths. Out of 25. I was in a good group. The raid leader was pushing us to go…we never got to stop…2nd room ended up with 3 Wards…1st one…then one from the 1st room got dragged in…then the 3rd…but I just did my best and they kept me up. Though I had most hps, I had lowest threat gen of the three tanks (story of a bears life.) so I deemed myself OT and let them hold the wards while I kept the still up misc trash off the healers and clothies. It worked…we survived with minimal deaths and went on to 1st boss.

Got 1st boss on the 1st try. Smooth as a greased up baby’s butt. Some shoulders dropped and loot was one per boss so I rolled. Got em :) Cultist's Bloodsoaked Spaulders

Second boss, I was assigned to left side. No one was assigned to any particular side or adds besides the tanks. I am not good at a whole side but I did the best I could…mostly my dudes ran into the raid and I pulled them back with taunts. No one bitched me out or complained other to politely note that they were free. After three add rounds, the boss freed up. I got on her and went to it…they called for me to take her third and I managed to pick her up and hold her and even move out of D&D (go me!) long enough for her to die. As soon as she dropped we were all on the elevator…no milling around or chit chat. Nothing dropped for me on her.

We were already in the next trash before the first piece was even rolled on. The raid leader advised us that we’d have to end on time because their guild run started at 11. They were doing LK (10 man run with 9/12 down). They invited any of the tanks to join them…I pondered it. I had noticed a couple of things about this run...the raid leader was pocketing the Saronites…not unusual, I guess they were reserved for the guild. The raid leader would link loot but he called for rolls on Vent. This meant that, if you weren’t paying attention to vent, you didn’t get to roll on Loot. This did piss one guy off who claimed he didn’t hear the call for a roll but he was just screwed. (in all fairness, 23 other people heard the call…) Also, the 8K dps rule was NOT being enforced. The raid leader noted the dps and even called people out on it but he didn’t keep the roll winners from getting the loot when they were below 8K. I actually felt good about that….as a fail dps, I hate those rules.

As we approached the boat for the 3rd ‘boss’, the raid leader called a halt and did something I’ve never seen before. He set it to heroic! My first realization was that our raid leader was a Kingslayer…I’ve never run with a Kingslayer. My second realization is that I know JACK SHIT about tanking heroic gunship. :{ So I jumped on WoWwiki and read up on it…luckily it is just like regular except the dudes are tougher and you have to be perfect in avoiding the rockets as they can both knock you back and one shot you. Nothing I couldn’t handle…

Heroic Gunship was rough but fun. Not difficult but I was dodging rockets and grabbing aggro like you wouldn’t believe. It was very draining because of the concentration needed. But we pulled it out and the loot came up…There were two pieces for me, which was REAL exciting, as I don’t’ have ANY heroic gear. I lost the roll on the tank trinket to the other tank which was fine. Then I lost the roll on heroic Ikfirus’s Sack of Wonder to a dude I’ll call LuckMeister, cuz he was and cuz that will give him away to anyone from the raid reading this. LuckMeister was the kitty and he was averaging about 5K dps. Not 8K. The raid leader even hesitated before giving it to him…but he got it. Now the rule swings the other way…I guess you take the good with the bad. I let it go.

Time for Saurfang. Raid Leader called for one of the tanks to go dps. I got nervous. I am a fail dps remember, I don’t want to post a shitty dps score and embarrass myself. I admitted that I had a dps spec. On other tank did and then he stated that his dps was only like 6K in that spec. I stole a page from his book and also admitted that. The Raid Leader said it was fine and he assigned me to dps for the fight. I got behind the boss and resolved to do the absolutely best I could. So I jumped on the boss and executed the rotation, playing close attention to my addon which tells me the priority move to make. Well, we downed him…a bit sloppy, so adds got stuck in melee but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t me. I immediately loaded up the Recount and checked my dps. 3200??? Oh, I remember this…have to set it to the single fight. I set it. Well, whaddya know?

Bigger version here

10485! Holy crap! That’s awesome. Of course, I know there were some mitigating factors. For one, in this fight, I just stand there and dps…easy on the concentration. For 2, Blizz has got the bonus on ICC set so high…I am sure the +20% or whatever played a role. But still, AWESOME! Of course, TWO marks that are good for me drop (you can see that in the lower right) and of course, I fail rolled and got nuthin’.

We tore though the next trash as we were running out of time. Made it to Rot in what I would call record time but again just par for the course for these guys. I got to tank first and we kept all three tanks. After my turn, I switched to kitty and dpsed him…every little bit on Rotface. At about 3% I hear, “GenWar, take him!” on vent. WTF? We went through BOTH other tanks?! My heart stopped but I smacked the = key which is my hotkey for bear when in cat and ran through him, whipped around and taunted. The current tank was at 9 and I got my first in less than 3 seconds. Since 10 is autowipe, I think most folks don’t realize how close we came to fuckin that up. But we didn’t and he died seconds later. He dropped some leather parts with high stamina…nice upgrade for tanking set…I rolled and got em. Gangrenous Leggings

Down the hall to Fester…I was assigned the main boss on this fight because that was where my experience lied. Again, not much to it…you stand there and hold aggro and move when the acid rains down…the healing was outstanding…downed him first try and he dropped a tanking neck. Will wonder’s never cease? My tanking neck is my worst piece of all. I’d been rocking the Endurance of the Infernal for as long as I can remember. One last minute roll to top the other two tanks and I am now the proud owner of THIS badboy: Bile-Encrusted Medallion.

We did one try at prof putricide but the guild members in the group were late for their 10 man, so we didn’t try again after 1st wipe. I rezzed myself and headed for the Dal portal…as I did, I noticed that they raid leader was taking rolls on the Saronites…only if you didn’t win anything…I thought that was a particular nice touch…one last chance to make it worth it. I thanked them for the raid and headed out. After a few minutes, the raid leader sent me a tell and asked if I was looking for a guild. I said I was but I couldn’t raid 12m to 3am EST. He said that that was 10 man and that 25 man was 8 to 12m on Thursdays. He then pointed out that I don’t need any 10 man gear…not STRICTLY true, I do still need some of the weapons but it’s true that 25 man should be my focus. So I said what the hell? He sent me an invite and promoted me to initiate. This means, I’m not a full member…I have to go through a trial run (25 man next Thursday) and then do a 2 week trial period for personality fit. (Probably a good thing for me as well as them.) But I might have a new guild only one day later. I can’t tell you how much of a relief that is…I was really scared that I would have to pug forever.

So, that whole long boring story later, I am in a good mood today. I’m excited about my trial run next week. Nervous but I think I can hold my own with most tanks and the guild is DEFINITELY tank light so I might get a bit of slack…We’ll see…

-gen

Pop Music - Top5/Bottom5 - 051910

Gen's Top 5

Eminem – “Not Afraid” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8E8h_Fhb5w

New Eminem song that doesn’t suck…how’s that for progress? This is the best kind of Eminem in my opinion…he isn’t being vulgar (well, for him) or overly silly or melodramatic…just being honest, straight and tight with the rhymes. This song is just him grabbing a mic and letting his talent flow and that is when, IMHO, he’s best. (I especially like that he acknowledges that his last album wasn’t the best.)

B.o.B. feat Hayley Williams & Eminem – “Airplanes part 2” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN5pOK6y42o

When you hear this song, you are struck with the impression that some record producer said, “Let’s write a follow up hit for B.o.B. given his success with ‘Nothing on you’”. And Normally, that would piss me off so I would hate the result. I mean, that’s the process for EVERY Black Eyed Peas song. However, I am a fan of Eminem (see above) and Hayley Williams has always made my pants tight. Add to that the fact that I LOVED ‘Nothing on you’ and I felt I had to give this song a chance. And, of course, It’s awesome. I mean, I really like this song…again, not the tired formula rap that seems to dominate these days and really, quality entertaining. Eminem seems to get a little angry in his verse, and I always like it when he gets a little pissed, be it real or feigned. Truth be told, I can’t get enough of this song, with the catchy hook and the draw-in verses…this could be my anthem for summer.

Lady Gaga – “Alejandro” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAsClx87DaM

Like all Lady Gaga songs, you can’t help but like Alejandro. For one, you are singing along by the third verse. It is just THAT catchy (Ollie Hahn Dro! Ollie Hahn Dro! Ollie ollie hahn dro! Ollie ollie hahn dro!)…For another, the music just carries a…passion…that is hard to describe. To me, I feel like I can feel what Gaga is feeling as she sings the song…like she is conveying that emotion to me through the music. Which ain’t bad for what is, let’s face it, miscellaneous pop sell-out music. I mean, she ain’t BB King or the Red Hot Chili Peppers…she’s Lady Gaga. The true test of a musician, IMHO, is whether or not they would keep making and releasing music if we stopped paying them tomorrow. No one would question this in BB King’s example but, with a pop artist, you always assume they’d be done in a second. But, I really think that Lady Gaga has some integrity and that comes through. I am unquestionably a fan. Sorry, Pete.

Lloyd Banks feat Juelz Santana – “Beamer, Benz or Bentley” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tfs3-sY2OM&feature=related

I have often enjoyed the music of 50-cent and his ‘crew’ G-unit. However, I have found that their best stuff is when they are not being too serious… I mean, 50’s ‘In da club’ is pretty irreverent as is my other favorite of his ‘P-I-M-P’. Lloyd’s solo stuff, in my experience, doesn’t often go this way, so I haven’t been as much of a fan. Even this song struggles to really be whimsical but it gets close enough that I can appreciate it. Add to that, the absolutely INSANE beat and hypnotic electronic melody stolen (in style, at least) from so many other songs and you just can’t help but nod your head and tap your foot. Banks actually is not currently signed to a label, so he did this song without label support as a digital download and radio airplay. The fact that I’ve heard of it, means he had amazing success in that regard…

Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris – “Break your heart” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2EDM6Lo

Let’s see… Dance Beat? Check. Ludacris Part? Check. Ridiculously hot women in the video? Check. If they wanted to make a song for me, that’s a pretty damn good start. This song is just hot enough to pretend that it is not bubblegum pop, so that is what we are gonna do, dammit! Still, it brings a smile to your face and a wiggle to your walk to hear it, and the dance remixes on bpm are ridiculous, so this song makes my top 5.

HONORABLE MENTION

Jay Z & Mr. Hudson – “Young Forever” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1nbvplgElw

How is it that Jay Z when from nothing to everything over the course of his life but still manages to make such amazing music? I guess there is such a thing as an overabundance of talent that can guide an artist into quality, engaging and involving music over and over again. Jay Z is like that. I have no idea where he got the idea or inspiration for such a beautiful song but the haunting quality of Mr. Hudson’s voice, the poetry and imagery of the lyrics and you have a song that, if you really pay attention, will touch you. (Watching the video will triple the effect…) That’s something special…

Gen's Bottom 5

Usher feat Will.I.Am – “OMG” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RnPB76mjxI

Jesus, Mother Mary & Joseph, my hand itches with the need to smack Usher. Obviously, he is one of the best RnB artists working and he is capable of such AMAZING work. So, why, I ask you, is he feeding us this same ole boring crap that sounds like every other damn boring crap song he’s done. So, that he can use a ‘cool, hip’ acronym and be ‘down’ with the kiddies. Dude, you’re better than this…you’re better than contrived lyrics, you’re better than tired beat and flow and you are sure as hell better than anything involving the master of no-talent, the craptastic Will.I.Am. Usher, I expect better from your next song…get some self-respect dude. Man, I miss ‘Papers…’

Theory of a Deadman – “All or Nothing” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRz8A8PJWXM

Normally, I have nothing against ToaD but this song sounds far far too much like Nickelback. It is the same whiney lead voice, the same tired, dead sounding guitar and the same cookie-cutter rock beat. As far as I am concerned, if you’re going to sound this much like Nickelback, and you don’t have the balls to take yourself out and shoot yourself, at least neglect to inflict this steaming pile of dung on the rest of humanity. This song is shit, shit, shit. Ugh. I’m a little nauseous… SHIT!

Justin Bieber feat Sean Kingston – “Eenie Meenie” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fOGiOST3EE

GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me you have not had the urge to yell exactly that whenever you are confronted with the blight on the face of humanity that is Justin Bieber. As a policy, I try not to wish that any particular individual would die in a chemical fire but Bieber makes me regret that policy. He’s annoying, Canadian, whiney, Canadian, stupidly coiffed, Canadian and idiotically Canadian. He is one of the best examples why record company executives rank lower than terrorist, pirate, insurance salesman, shoe salesman, Nazi officer AND NBC executive in the hierarchy of evil. There is no talent, no passion, no joy, no heart. Nothing of any value. Just an ‘add water’ formula to make little girls `ginies tingle. Tell me, did you ever foresee a time when you miss the Jonas Brothers? Oh yeah, and in recent American history, the nursery rhyme ‘Eenie Meenie Minie Moe’ has racist connotations. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eeny,_meeny,_miny,_moe) and I don’t mean the ‘good’ kind of racist. L

Ke$ha – “Your love is my drug” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IsRckT21sE&feature=fvst

Y’all know me. You know I love the ridiculously popular. You know that it takes nothing more than a stint at #1 on Billboards Hot 200 to make me love your song. In the 80s, I loved Madonna. In the 90s, I loved N’Sync. In the 00’s, I loved Britney. I am a cheap, popular music whore and proud of it. So, I was all set to *LOVE* ke$ha. And I did. “Tik tok” is the bomb...I have tried brushing with Jack (not so good.) and I check each morning but I don’t wake up feeling like P.Diddy. And the beat from “Blah Blah Blah” makes it a must listen, despite the presence of the hated 3OH!3 (*puke*). I am freely willing to discuss the possibility that, because of this, I actually do physically lack a soul. That said, I can’t take it anymore. This song, is the same damn song as the other songs. It’s cool to have one damn song…if you’re AC/DC…but, ke$ha, I’m going to need more…’Your love is my drug?’ seriously? Reached for comment, Huey Lewis said, ‘How original.’ I’m not asking for much…I mean, I never asked you to have talent (heh.) or even to be good…but there are limits for how much any one individual can sell-out and you are crossing them chicky. I mean it…write a fuckin’ ballad.

The Script – “Breakeven” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yZ1uI5yPbY

This is a song that falls into that same category as the Black Eyed Peas. I don’t detect much feeling in this song, either in the lyrics or the music or the delivery. Indeed, I don’t really find much worthwhile with this endeavor at all. So, why do I fuckin’ LOVE listening to this song? I don’t know…I can’t place it…It could be raw repetition…I mean, listen to pop radio these days and you’ll hear a particular song, like this one, no less than 6 times in a 4 hour period. That’s ridiculous…it can wear a path down your ear canal and into your brain that it permanently resides in…so you come to like it despite yourself…cuz it’s comfortable…like old leather pants you should have put away 40 lbs ago…but I thought I was immune to that shit after all these years…maybe not. I enjoy this song every single time I hear it and that pisses me off, so I hate it. Also, this is one of those songs with inexplicable fuckin sirens in the background…what the hell is THAT about?

DISHONORABLE MENTION

Glee Cast – “Total Eclipse of the Heart” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yelF5xnXnuQ

Umm…that’s not your fuckin’ song…that’s the Wife’s song…she sings it at karaoke every time we go and you have a lot of fuckin’ nerve commandeering it for your little gay dramedy show. Seriously, where do you get off? You don’t even do as good a job as she does and she’s using Mark the Sharks karaoke equipment. Howz that feel, gleek? (yeah, they seriously call themselves ‘gleeks’) So, seriously, cut that shit out and let people have their karaoke songs and stop putting them in your little high school fantasies? I mean it…Don’t get cocky, a fuckin monkey shitting itself could follow Idol and get your ratings, so don’t be all full of yourself…stealin’ people’s karaoke…that’s bullshit…

Random Thoughts Dump...

Time for a content dump…Periodically, it is good to “dump” the contents of your head out, so you have room for more random and pointless thoughts to form. And, yes, I do use the verb ‘dump’ for its similarity to another usage ;)

So, on with the random thoughts…

· Yesterday was Mother’s Day. And I made Mother’s Day my bitch! I didn’t have much money, but I bought a small gift from myself and a smaller one from the rugrat. Then, I got up with the rugrat at 7:30 am and let Mommy sleep in. I dragged the rugrat to Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts so Mommy could have a special breakfast which we then served in bed. I changed diapers when it wasn’t my turn. I made a special Mother’s Day dinner, including that ‘healthy mac and cheese’ which is such a pain in the ass to make. So, I think I did pretty well. Of course, there’s no way to tell…Mommy always says the same thing if you was… “Yes, it’s fine.”

· The Giants had three games in NY this weekend, against the Mets. I couldn’t afford to go, which upset me greatly. However, after watching the games, not so much. The weather wasn’t great…very cold with wind gusts up to 123492731312 miles per hour. The games were good tight quality baseball but the Mets won two of em with walkoffs and got a lot of lucky home runs. (Jonathan Sanchez gave up 3 hr, 2 to Ike Davis, a lefty. They were his first hits to a lefty all year (not hrs, HITS). You wanna tell me a deal with Satan wasn’t involved with that?) I was glad we got the lucky hr win on Sunday, even if the dub couldn’t be Timmy's. But, in hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t go.

· Listening to XM’s Faction (52) today. I thought it was gonna be Gary music, but it isn’t. It’s ACTION SPORTS!!!!! Music…which is kinda funny as a genre but entertaining to listen to. One thing I've learned...Action Sports enthusiasts REALLY like Cypress Hill.

· ESPN Monday Night Baseball: Yankees @ Tigers. ESPN Wednesday Night Baseball: Yankees @ Tigers. It’s really really too bad that there aren’t any other teams playing tonight or Wednesday that ESPN could show. Damn shame, really.

· My friend G-money posted a picture of himself and his new girlfriend on Facebook. It bothered me a lot. Not because I am jealous of him cuz she is like crazy insane hot. Not because I am worried about him because he has a slight history of taking girls’ crap and this one is hot enough that even I’d take her crap (Of course, I don’t KNOW her, so it’s possible that she doesn’t give much crap…you know me, I worry.). No, the reason the picture bothered me is because he appears to be wearing some sort of European Jersey…perhaps even Soccer! Soccer!! Really? It’s scary seeing that on someone you care about. That shit’ll shake you to the core… (I'd post the picture but I worry about privacy concerns, so I'll let him post it in the comments, if he wants...)

· Dear Modern Musical Artists: Why do you keep putting the sound of sirens in the background of your songs? Often, people listen to music whilst driving and, as an Asshole Driver, the last thing one needs is fuckin’ sirens coming from somewhere. So, cut that shit out, seriously…

· Driving to work this morning, I passed a beautiful, gleaming brand-new-looking black audi with a strange piece of metal sticking out the window. I swung around the other side out of curiosity and saw, through the tinted windows, another license plate in the cab. It appears that the metal was the end of a back bumper from another black car. I closed my eyes and prayed (Nay, begged God) that it not be a black dude driving the car but I sped up and checked and sure enough, it was. K

· The receptionist at work announces for people over the intercom. She uses the same script…for example, if she called for me, it would be, “Mr. War, please call extension 7036. Mr. Gen War, extension 7036.” Whenever, I hear this…when she says the last name, I immediately picture that she is going to ask for a celebrity. Like, she says, “Mr. DeNiro, call extension…” and I think it’ll be “Mr. Robert DeNiro.” It never is the actual celebrity name but I think it’s natural to mentally guess the celebrity. Well, for SOME of them. I think I’m probably the only one who thinks “RICHARD!!!” when she asks for “Mr. Greico…”

· I think it’s awesome that we live in a time when men can wear their hair long and have it not cast aspersions on their character. And I am appreciative for those pioneers like Snoop Dogg and Big Time Timmy Jam who take the lead on this. So, it really pisses me off when people like Justin Bieber have to insult us all and fly in the face of this hard won and fought freedom by looking like an idiot…I'm #justsayin'

· Yeah, I did the front of the main entrance (back side) of the Crossgate Commons Walmart to the entrance light to 90E on Washington Ave in 3:15 (three minutes and 15 seconds.) No shit.

· We’re building a playground for a 2 year old behind my house this weekend. If you’re bored or love construction, come over Saturday morning some time. Of course, I know that the 2 of 11 of you that might genuinely be interested would face an insurmountable obstacle of geography but at least I can tell the wife I asked...

Wordless Wednesday

In which I say something nice about some people...

To balance the karma of the universe's favor in ESPN2 showing the Giants @ Astros game yesterday, I must say something nice about 3 individual people. If you know me, you know that saying something nice about someone doesn't come easily to me. I usually prefer to do it passive aggressively, if at all. And what sucks is that I always said something nice about someone yesterday! But I don't want to continue with this Karma debt, so I will use the random number generator to chose someone (well, 3 someones) to speak well of...here goes...

Ok, I just gotta say Karma is a bitch. No seriously...if you think this is some idle exercise, YOU try doing it. Cuz, it is seriously fucking with me.

Heather is a friend from my old work job, the one that laid me off. I haven't really talked to her much since then and I probably haven't been a very good friend but that company was one that kinda consumed you so being cut off so brutally was somewhat psychologically scarring and I can't say I've recovered from that. That's an excuse, mind you, but it is also an explanation, at least as far as I am concerned.

Anyway, it isn't about who, it's about what's nice. In that sense, this is relatively easy. `Cuz Heather's a really nice person. She doesn't get along with everyone (who does?) but, in general, she is not tough to be around...she's funny and very genuine and doesn't really bullshit (even when the situation warrants it.) Further, she's pretty nice to look at, if you know what I'm sayin ;) She is not a person who does a lot of hating, which isn't so common in today's day and age...we all like to think we're enlightened but we aren't. None of us...but Heather is more enlightened than most and that's saying something. So, from that standpoint, this exercise is pretty easy.

Let's see who we get next...

Hmmm...Jean...jean is a friend of the Mexican. If you know me with any depth at all, you know that I have a friend who I call the Mexican. he is one of my closer friends and in most any of my wilder and crazier stories, he is usually there. Well, he lives in PA, like 300 miles from me, and in his town, he has two major friends he hangs out with...Kyle and Jean. So I've met Jean like 2 times in person. But they were wacky times... :)

So what do I know that is nice about Jean? Well, from what little I know, he seems to really love life...not in the sense of loving being alive but the kinda person who views life as an exercise and works it hard to get the joy that is there for the taking. I know he is pretty active, and is very passionate about music...he plays in a band that does local gigs, though I've never seen him play. I can safely infer that, as he hangs out with the Mexican, he isn't very uptight or stressed...people like that grind themselves to dust in the Mexican's presence...so Jean can go with the flow, which is a nice trick to have...a lot of us are just forced down a path by circumstances and expectations and so-called 'dreams' which are really just goals that we haven't thought through. I really get the impression that Jean isn't like that and that he is the kinda person who can live outside all of that. I'm kinda jealous of him, in that sense...

Yeah, this is tough. I don't like this at all. ESPN2 better show a BUNCH of games for this...

OK...one more and I'm done...

Heh. That's funny. You see, I've met Kat like once. 2 months ago. She came to the OLT Founder's Day party(ies) in Riverside. So, from talking to her at the party, I know she studies music at Potsdam state. Aside from that, and the fact that she is this tiny, pixie like girl who is as cute as a button, I don't know what I can say about her. Except for one thing...

Kat is courageous. I don't mean that in a cliche sort of way. I mean that she has a level of self-knowing character that reflects in the ability to withstand pressure and challenge in a way that is rare in today's day and age. How do I know this if I only met her once? Well, I'll have to tell the story...As I said, she came to the OLT Founder's Day party. Now, this is a drinking event...one where we get together to drink. Oh, it isn't REQUIRED to drink but everyone does. And I do, a lot. Now, I am not a small person. Nor am I particularly reserved. All of this gets multiplied when I drink. and there is no night of the year where I drink as much as Founder's Day (except maybe Wine Tasting...) So, I am this huge, larger than life caricature of a person partying at insane volume and I share that with all around me. And people join in. Not necessarily because they WANT to but because I am damn near a force of nature and they just get swept up. So, when this pressure was brought to bear on Kat, she withstood it and said no. So I redoubled my efforts. And she STILL said no. Honestly, I didn't know what to do...it happens so rarely. Being drunk and lacking judgement, I tried even HARDER. And She still said no. And I could tell that that took a lot outta her. that it was a major effort of will. and I felt bad...I mean, it's a party, it's about having fun. and I was having the opposite effect for her. So I apologized as best as I could (drunk off my ass) and endeavored to help her enjoy the party, without drinking. That would have been the end of it, except that it wasn't. Cuz, later on, the party got busted by the authorities...And it would have been a mess. I mean, I can't say that there were underage people at this event participating in alcohol use, cuz I don't have that knowledge first hand. And that isn't an accident. But the authorities came in and sent everyone away and started carding people and asking unfortunate questions. Naturally, because I was drunk, I made myself a figurehead and distracted them as much as possible while everyone else scattered. In the end, they were left with 6 people...3 people who lived at the location and three others including me. All were above 21. When they stated that they had proof of underage drinking, I challenged it...and asked them to show me proof...after all, everyone was gone (or hiding out back). So he shows me his list of ids checked and everyone on it is above age except for one person. you guessed it. Kat. Who WASN'T DRINKING! So I told him that. He looked skeptical but told me to prove it. So I went out back and I asked Kat to come help us. And I could tell she was terrified. I mean, I don't think she has been at a lot of parties that get busted up but it can be a harrowing experience...you think that you are gonna get cited or locked up or kicked out of school or god knows what. So I told her not to worry about it but...she squared her shoulders and did it. She went back inside and looked the guy in the eye and told him she wasn't drinking...which was the God's honest truth. He looked her back and saw she was being honest and that settled it...it was no longer an underage drinking event. Man, I can't tell you how ballsy that was...Could I have done that in her shoes? I dunno...I mean, I am damn near TWICE the drinking age, so it was easy for me to stand up to him...That's courage...That girls' gonna be somebody someday.

Alright, universe, that one was a gimme...So, I've balanced my karma and done my duty.

In the end, it was worth it. BTW, Giants won 5-2. Timmy pitched 7 innings and gave up no runs. It was awesome.

-gen

A Giants Fan Prayer

Father in Heaven:

We come to you today in most humble supplication to ask for a good year. Before we make our requests, know that we have unending gratitude for your years of blessings and the favor you have heaped upon us. We remember to good times from Mays and McCovey to Bonds and Kent. We know that you have never forsaken us and that you would not do so. And we appreciate all you did in 2002...we could not have asked for more. Finally, we acknowledge all the work you have done for our pitching staff this year...your bright countenance on us has left us the envy of our peers and spoke of in the same breath as the Yankees and Red Sox. For this, and all you do for us, we thank you.

Still, if you'll permit, there are a few small matters we would like you to address:

• Bless our bats. Give them the patience and endurance to wait for their pitches, and the form and power to deliver them from the park.
• Bless our gloves. Teach our defense the patience and skill to field effectively and consistently. Make errors a thing of the past.
• Forgive Zito. Lord, we know not what offense Barry Zito once offered You but we would submit now that that time has passed and his penance is served. Please lift the weight of Your vengeance from his shoulders and return him to the ace You know he can be.
• Smile upon Bochy. Empower his sense and wisdom to know when to say when, be it on an aging player day-to-day or on a tired pitcher inning-to-inning. Give him the intellect to make the right calls at the right time. Help him protect and nurture our pitching talent for years of success to come.
• Love our offense. Give them the confidence and skill that comes from knowing you and your warmth. Grant them your grace that they may utilize talent, skill and fundamentals to deliver the runs needed to win.

These are our requests, O Lord. If you could see fit to help us with them, we will do our best to bring you the ultimate tributes, a pennant and, perhaps even, a ring.

With love and affection in the name of your son, Jesus,

Amen.

P.S. Don't forget, the Dodgers have been worshipping Satan lately. While, of course, your forgiveness is absolute, are you really gonna take that?

On Michael Vick...

ok...I guess I need to explain something...and that's Michael Vick. I realize that this is probably going to cost me followers/friends/blog followers but I am sick of people being surprised when they bash Vick and then see me rise to his defense. They're all like, "What's your problem, dude? He's a horrible person. He should be drawn and quartered. (look it up.) He is the very height of all that is evil. Satan himself said, 'damn, that's fucked up, man.' to Michael Vick." Michael Vick is none of these things. He is a misunderstood young man who was given a ton of money and made some bad choices. So, let's talk about this...

First, let me preamble that I hate dogs. Can't stand them. Though, it is not them in particular. I hate animals. All of em. Big, little, cute, ugly, useful, useless...I don't like pets. I don't like zoos. I don't like Animal Planet or 'NatGeo' (what a stupid fucking name for a channel.) I have absolutely no use for animals whatsoever. However, I am not advocating that you should hate animals (like I AM advocating that you should ease up on Michael Vick.) You wanna have a pet, be my guest. God Bless You. But recognize that it is your pet and your practice and you cannot impose those values on the rest of the world. Also, please note, that I am assuming you are not a fanatic. I am speaking to a normal, reasonable person, not a card carrying member of PETA who already has plans to go throw red paint on Rene Zellweger or whatever. Them, I can't help. Vick is their Satan, end of story.

Michael Vick's story is a common one. He came from a poor background and used his natural abilities at sports both as a personal escape from some life hardships and, ultimately, as a 'ticket' to a better life. Leveraging his natural abilities at football took him through college to the NFL where he was able to earn a large amount of money. However, as is common in this story, he used his new found wealth to finance some ill advised activities, including marijuana use, gambling and the crime for which he is famous, dog fighting.

And, see, there is the kicker. The 'dog fighting'. No one cares or remembers the pot. Or the gambling. Just the dogs. And that's what gets me. I won't defend his behavior. Or his crimes. They were mistakes and he paid the price for making them. But, in the court of public opinion, he still ranks below such winners as Donte Stallworth (DUI manslaughter; killed a 59 year old man named Mario Reyes), Adam "Pacman" Jones (allegedly assaulted a stripper and ordered a shooting which paralyzed a man) and Brandon Marshall (spousal abuse, DUI, etc). And those are just the NFL examples, off the top of my head. Some research would reveal dozens upon dozens of professional atheletes and other celebrities who have ended lives of human beings but are still 'ok' in the eyes of the world while Vick stands universally vilified.

One of my favorite sayings is "Michael Vick went to jail for treating his dogs like dogs." The dogs were his property, to do with as he saw fit. No one has come forth and said that they owned one of Vick's dogs and there have be no charges of fraud or theft. Had Vick destroyed any other property he would have been fine...What if he bought some picassos and torched em? What if he bought several fully restored `69 Mustang Mach 1s and had a demolition derby? Ok...forget inanimate objects... What if Vick went to Spain and became enamored with Bullfighting and build a Bullfighting ring in his backyard? Do you know what they do to those bulls? What if he went to the Dominican Republic and came back to start a cock fighting ring (*giggle*)? Hell, What if Vick decided to raise his own veal? I submit that any and all of these things are JUST AS BAD as dog fighting and would not have raised NEARLY the public outrage that the dog fighting did. Why? cuz, Veal and Cocks (*giggle*) aren't cute? Cuz you don't have one?

I could try to argue that the dogs themselves are a problem. I could point out that Dogs killed 33 people in 2007. Or that 4.7 million people are bitten by dogs annually...800,000 of which require hospital level medical treatment.* But I won't. that's like trying to get us to ride bikes by quoting the damage to the environment statistics from cars. I could discuss such institutions as pounds or puppy mills (google it. On 2nd thought, don't. really. it's not pretty.) and then ask PETA if Vick's dogs are really the major issue here...but I won't...the fact that our society is already fucking over dogs doesn't excuse Vick's mistakes or behavior. They would only serve to create context that I don't even need to prove my point. My point is not that Michael Vick did something ok...my point is that we are overreacting, as a society.

Maybe we should look at the actions that have been taken by Vick in response to his mistakes. The money and time he has donated. Yes, donated. He didn't HAVE to. Sure, the $1million he gave to take care of his (I repeat, HIS) dogs when they were confiscated was requested and encouraged by prosecutors. But it was still his money and his option. Sure, the judge strongly suggested that he work with PETA and make public service announcements when he was being sentenced. But it was still his option. I would submit to you that everyone knows that Michael Vick fucked up. Even (or perhaps especially) Michael Vick.

Today, Michael Vick is a player for the Philadelphia Eagles. He is the third quarterback. A team rarely needs more than 2. One surmises he is an Eagle due to the support of Donovan McNabb, the main quarterback...who wanted to help Vick work his way back into the league. He has paid his debt to society. He lost everything...his fantastic career, his endless fortune (The Falcons actually took back what he had left of his signing bonus) and the respect of his fans and his family. It is entertaining to badmouth him...I had a conversation with someone who described him as all sorts of awful things...terms he does not deserve.

Yes, he screwed up. And he paid the price. I would argue he paid far more than the price. AS such, I am 100% his supporter. I would be disillusioned or disappointed if he 'got away with it.' If he did not go through the American Criminal Justice system and come out the other side with major loss, I would not be a supporter. However, he did. and if we can forgive PacMan, Donte and Brandon (and you do NOT have the evidence to tell me we haven't.) how can we not forgive Vick?

So, go ahead, call him a name in front of me. I WILL argue. When it's football season, I root for the Eagles. If I owned a football jersey, it would say 'Vick.' and if you want to hate me because I defend this horribly unfairly persecuted man, then go ahead and 'unfollow' now.

* Dog Bite Stats from here