A Giants Fan Prayer

Father in Heaven:

We come to you today in most humble supplication to ask for a good year. Before we make our requests, know that we have unending gratitude for your years of blessings and the favor you have heaped upon us. We remember to good times from Mays and McCovey to Bonds and Kent. We know that you have never forsaken us and that you would not do so. And we appreciate all you did in 2002...we could not have asked for more. Finally, we acknowledge all the work you have done for our pitching staff this year...your bright countenance on us has left us the envy of our peers and spoke of in the same breath as the Yankees and Red Sox. For this, and all you do for us, we thank you.

Still, if you'll permit, there are a few small matters we would like you to address:

• Bless our bats. Give them the patience and endurance to wait for their pitches, and the form and power to deliver them from the park.
• Bless our gloves. Teach our defense the patience and skill to field effectively and consistently. Make errors a thing of the past.
• Forgive Zito. Lord, we know not what offense Barry Zito once offered You but we would submit now that that time has passed and his penance is served. Please lift the weight of Your vengeance from his shoulders and return him to the ace You know he can be.
• Smile upon Bochy. Empower his sense and wisdom to know when to say when, be it on an aging player day-to-day or on a tired pitcher inning-to-inning. Give him the intellect to make the right calls at the right time. Help him protect and nurture our pitching talent for years of success to come.
• Love our offense. Give them the confidence and skill that comes from knowing you and your warmth. Grant them your grace that they may utilize talent, skill and fundamentals to deliver the runs needed to win.

These are our requests, O Lord. If you could see fit to help us with them, we will do our best to bring you the ultimate tributes, a pennant and, perhaps even, a ring.

With love and affection in the name of your son, Jesus,

Amen.

P.S. Don't forget, the Dodgers have been worshipping Satan lately. While, of course, your forgiveness is absolute, are you really gonna take that?