OK...seen a LOT of tweets and blogs wondering about the Strip Club, Athlete and incident thing. Recently, TN Titan Vince Young got into an altercation at a strip club which made the headlines and media. It seems, to many, that this is another in a long line of strip club related problems involving professional athletes going back to Adam "Pacman" Jones and even before. Since so many people are concerned and asking questions (What is it about strip clubs? If it is a hotbed for trouble, why do athletes go?) and since one of the few things I do know a little about is strip clubs, I thought I'd try and help.
First, the strip club itself. To truly answer this question, I'd need a whole other blog or maybe even a book (it's been suggested, numerous times.) But I'll try to sum it up for you. What is it about strip clubs that makes them so attractive. Well, it's a number of factors, most of which aren't really complicated or deep but they combine into the perfect storm. First and foremost, there's beer. Seriously. For most guys in most contexts, that alone is enough to justify visiting or patronizing an establishment. Next, in addition to beer, there's naked (well, topless) women. "So, you mean I can drink beer AND look at titties?" Now, don't you feel a bit silly for even wondering why a guy might want to go to one of these places. But, I'm not done.
See, in addition to beer and titties, a strip club is a place a wife doesn't want to go almost as badly as the husband does want to go. If one's wife is happy and excited to go to the strip club, she is not one of the folks asking why people want to go there. She gets it. But even places that have no beer or titties but that the wife would rather not go tend to be attractive to the average husband. Otherwise, explain golf. Further, with or without the wife, the strip club is a place where you get to toe the marriage bounderies without breaking them. There is this fantasy of the possiblity of being with a beautiful woman, who is not your wife, and, even better, there is absolutely no chance of it actually happening. Hell, they say like 20-25% of dudes will actually cheat on their wives, you think the rest of us aren't wired that way too...the strip club lets you address that part of you without being THAT guy who ruins the marriage, screws up the kids and generally ends up alone and unloved.
And then there's the reason that doesn't much get discussed...the attention. Everyone likes to feel attractive, important and admired. Some of us are lucky enough to get that in a lot of contexts. Most of us only get it in a few. Some poor folks don't get it at all. But, admittedly, we ALL like it. And, if you have the cash, you can BUY it at a strip club. Oh sure, it's not the same. It's basically a fantasy without real teeth. But still, it's better than nothing. Like fat free diet ice cream or veggie burgers. You know it isn't the real thing but it beats abstinence.
So, in sum, Why do guys go to strip clubs? Beer, Titties, No Wife, Hot Chicks (without cheating) who "think" that they (the guys) are hot. There are actually a number of other reasons but these 5 covers 85-90% of the motivation generation.
So, what about the athletes? Why do they get in trouble? let's address that. First of all, the simple fact is, they don't. What do I mean? What about all the stuff I see in the media and the stories and Ben Roethlesberger (who can spell that?) raping that chick in the strip club in Georgia. How can I say they don't get in trouble? Well, I am speaking in scale...you see, LOTS of athletes go to strip clubs all the time. Guys (and Gals) of all different levels of professional sports all over the country and the world frequent strip clubs every damn day. But, because of the puritanical prejudice against sexual expression, we, as a society, freak out over the .001% of athlete strip club visits that result in an 'incident'. Hell, Ben Rapelesberger (as the Mexican calls him) wasn't even in a strip club. And poor Mr. Young's negative exchange was completely irrelevant in the context of the strip club venue. I mean, he punched a dude in the mouth. There was no stripper involved. There was no bouncer involved. It was a simple bar fight that happened to be in a strip club.
But again, you want an analysis of why there is trouble that .001% of the time. Ok...first, Athletes are often young men who come from poor or middle class backgrounds who become REALLY FUCKING RICH. I mean, they get a LOT of money. What do you do with a $15m signing bonus. I mean, after you buy the 'Mtv Crib' and the 4 Bentleys and the bowling alley in your basement. You still have a ton of money. So you invite all your high school buddies over and you smoke some pot and bet on some private dog fights and maybe share a hooker or 3. And you STILL have a CRAPLOAD of money. Well, one thing a strip club is really really good for, it's burning money. If Montgomery Brewster had hit Scores, he could have burned that $30mil in the first 2 weeks and he would have had NOTHING to show for it.
The other factor that comes up is the mental and emotional warping that occurs when you are a professional athlete. Professional sports are a big part of our lives. They prove very important to us. I can tell you, personally, that I am such a serious SF Giants fan that, when they win, I feel GREAT and when they lose, I feel like crap. With that level of pressure on single fans, successful athletes tend to get admired, appreciated, stroked and worshipped to the point of demi-god status. The treatment they get tends to do strange and unpleasant things to the average ego and soon, they start to forget simple things like respect, manners and humility and start to believe that they are better than the average person.
So take this guy with the out of control ego, give him a pile of money and put him in a place were even the common schlub in a food stained t-shirt is made to feel sexy, attractive and important and, yes, sparks will fly. Things will get out of hand. Usually, most people have enough home training, common sense, and attentive friends to prevent any real issues...I mean, Tiger Woods apparently frequented numerous clubs and managed to ruin his life without a single fight or club context 'incident.' But every so often, it grows beyond the normal drunken misbehavior and gets out of hand. And that's what ends up in the press.
So, to sum up again, giant ego, ton of money, ego stroking context, lack of home training, shake (not stir) and you might get a little explosion. But chances are, you won't.
Solution? You want a solution? I bet the NFL does...I bet Roger Goddell is getting plenty sick of dealing with this. Here's a solution, then. Stay home. I'm just kidding...that's not realistic...Sure, some of the dudes are going to marry supermodels and be content to go back to their ridiculous house and bowl a couple of games in the basement with the kids. God Bless em. But the rest of them need training...They need to understand things like choosing and empowering a wingman and taking other dudes talking shit as jealous ramblings that really amount to complement. They need to learn how to recognize their limits when imbibing and how to safely ignore those limits. This stuff can be learned through trial and error but that will not keep any NFL PR Execs in their beds at night. OR, it can be taught.
In today's day and age, fame is far more curse than it is blessing. It is the price they pay to have a job that they love that pays obscene amounts of money. If they can learn to manage their fame or hire someone to do it for them and listen to that person, they don't have to suffer. And they don't have to 'avoid' strip clubs. 'Cause that ain't gonna happen...
(P.S. Dear Adam 'Pacman' Jones. Dude, AVOID STRIP CLUBS. You, sir, have a problem... Love, Gen.)
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