Country Music vs "Country Music"

So, I was on the road yesterday morning for like 3 hours. In exhasperation, I posted a twitter that said "On the road again. I so totally CAN wait to get on the road again." So Courtney posted a response that was like, "You really just quoted a country song?" And I was like, well, yeah but no. Thus, I realized there needs to be some clarification.

I HATE "Country Music". With a passion. Almost as much as I hate Nickelback, Tomatoes and Tipper Gore. However, I do not hate or even dislike Country Music. I mean, REAL Country Music. In fact, I have nothing but respect for it. Much love and all that. But, I recognize that this is probably confusing, so let me clarify.

REAL Country Music traces its origins back to the 1940's when it was called "hillbilly music". It is also referred to as "Country and Western Music". It is, in some senses, a variation of the blues as both forms of music came to develop a stereotype as outlets for pain and heartache suffered by the musicians. REAL Country Music has artists like Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, Roy Rogers, The Charlie Daniels Band and Tammy Wynette, among others. It is the music that birthed Elvis Presley, though he went on to be influenced by other forms in the evolution of Rock and Roll. Thusly, REAL Country Music is an antecedent for Rock and Roll and all of its derivatives. Without REAL Country Music, there would have been no Dukes of Hazzard, and that would have been a real shame. REAL Country Music invokes the feeling of calloused hands, the look of dirty, worn denim and the smell of leather. While I do not make a practice of regularly listening to REAL Country Music, I acknowledge and respect it for its rich history, talented participants and ultimate contribution to the modern pop/rock/rap/r&b music that I love today.

"Country Music," on the other hand, is crap. I don't know and don't care to research the exact moment when REAL Country Music was mixed with a solution of equal parts vinegar and urine to dilute it to "Country Music". It was probably at some point in the late 80s or early 90s with the advent of one Troyal Garth Brooks. It was likely the brainchild of some worthless, slimy record producer who correctly saw a potential for marketing to the masses of American white people who feared ethnicity and/or "soul". I personally found it to be whiney, annoying, not requiring any modicum of talent or emotion and just generally to be shit. Artists such as the aforementioned Mr. Brooks, as well as Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Sugarhill, Rascal Flatts, Brooks & Dunn, LeAnn Rhimes, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, and that one superannoying band with the three chicks who name I can't remember right now. This music turns my stomach and makes my head hurt. These bands have no effing shame: Rascal Flatts actually had the audacity to cover Tom Cochrane's "Life is a highway" and Shania Twain is Canadian for fuck's sake. (no offense, hb) Anyone who knows me knows that I can't stand this music and I don't want it around me. One of my most tramatic recent experiences is my horrifying realization that I actually liked "Last Name" by Carrie Underwood. (Don't even get me started on Carrie Underwood or her asexual bud, Taylor Swift. Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph, I cannot STAND Taylor Swift.) ugh. I have to stop writing before I get ill.

So, yeah, Court. I quoted Willie Nelson. "On the road again" is a bad ass song and Willie is a bad ass dude. And I got nothing but love for him. But...he ain't "Country Music."

-gen

"Anna Paquin seems nice enough, but Oh My God, do something about your damn teeth. She's like the villain in a cartoon about toothpaste." -WWTDD